GOOD MORNING CORNHOLE NATION!!!!

I don't know which hurts worse this morning.  My throat from somebody with a cold sneaking a sip out of my drink.  My pride from losing my 3rd straight tourney game now to my girl D.  My scalp from not putting sun screen on my bald head.  Or my shoulder from throwing corn from Sun up to Sun down all weekend long baby !!!    Ok, Ok, enough bitch'n, let's get down to the pitch'n.

Wheelersburg or Burlington?  Instead of flipping a coin like any sane person would do, we got out our protractor, our scientific calculator, and then even tried to read the stars for where to head to start off the weekend. But after driving to Wheelersburg and setting up our WV style tailgate spot with Craigee's Coachmen motor home, the Corn Gods would make our decision for us as the Thunder clouds rolled in and skeered us into jumping in our rides and heading back the way we came to join Chris Saunders and a few of our fellow Culties for the 3rd annual Burlington Veterans Memorial Tournament (Endorsed by 3 Rambo's times 10 as Chris would call them, but better know as Congressional Medal of Honor recipients)

Nine teams would make up the field of competitors for the day.  DAM ended up 4th.  That would be D And Me, with our day ending on a Dawg going for the hole instead of for the tie, on a 20-19 throw that slid up, over the hole, danced for a sec, flipped me the bird, then dove off the back into loser city.  And that was the bag flipping me the bird, not D, or at least I hope not.

SOAK (Southern Ohio Ass Kickes Ray and Ricky) would take third.  Now Ray and Ricky, you know that name is way to cocky to walk away with the hardware!!! The NOBODY's (Meeksss and Brooks) would be so kind as to split the 1st and 2nd prize money with the RIVER RATS (Craigee and Bobo) rather than play out the best of 3 game championship, so that us true Corn Freaks could get on the road and make it to the 6pm tourney Rick Taylor and Frankie Geers had in store for us in Florence KY.  Other Culties on the scene were two strangers here lately in the travel corn world, Eddie B, and Barry.  I got a feeling though they got the bug again and we'll be seeing them on the circuit more the next few months.

Next up on the weekend road show was Turfway Park.   Frank and Rick already had things rolling when me, D, Craigee, and Bobo rolled in. So we were about 20 minutes late... We still beat the IN crew there, so don't give me no grief!!! :-)

In this event, you got to start your night off by throwing the Ricky T Specialty Board challenge.  A Bag on the Board might as well be on the floor on this one, only points were for bags in the hole.  4 bags on the narrow Challenger board, 2 pts for every hole. 4 bags on the Tournament board, 1 pt for every hole.  And 4 bags on the Airmail, with 3 pts for every hole shot
on it.  So a possible 24 pts if you made all 12 bags.  The best part, was while you threw your challenge, the other 37 players got to stare at ya, in complete silence.  Heck I thought we were at the Turfway Community Library when I walked in, not a horse race track!

SHHHHH....

Well as you all know the pressure player that I am, LMAO, I threw a Big Dawg 7 after suffering a mild stroke in the silence.  1 Challenger hole, and 2 air Mails.  Craigee busted out a 4, so at least I could give him hell :-). Bobo knocked down an 11, and D would end up in a 4 way tie for 2nd with a strong 13, along with Charles True, Brett, and another player whose name I was unable to get.  Randy A would take home 1st with a 15.  But things weren't over just yet, cause Frankie would send the 4 second placers back out there for a throw down tie breaker.  Brett would be the only one to prove he was for real on his first go round, as he would put up a 10 this round, Charles and D would both get 5's, and the other dude would bang out a big Goose Egg.  Maybe he's glad now I didn't get his name.

After the 38 of us got our scores, I think Frank and Rick did some LSD and then drew for partners based on our Challenge Score.  I got a 7, and my partner threw a 0.  Mike Schaffer threw a 2, and his partner threw a 4. Craigee threw a 4, and drew Bobo with his 11.  WTF?  And D was definitely wishing Shoe or Rooster were there, as her good luck on her partner draws ran out, and she found herself paired up with Haney?

But that's how the ball bounces, and we made the best of it.  The Dawg actually threw pretty good for the first time in several weeks, and managed to score a few rounds on Charles True as well as double digits on prince Brett, but in the end me and my main man Bill Ranken went 0-2 and found ourselves setting and watching the action next to D and Haney who also went
0-2.   Craigee and Bobo would hang around to the final 4, and Joe Reed and Clinton would claim 1st, knocking out Charles and Steve to take home the hardware.

Mike SR was stating his case about his partner draw to D, while Shelby tried to run from my camera.  Shelby, you can run but you can't hide!!!  Mike was so intense he didn't even pose for the picture.  Frank! D!  Would somebody please listen to Mike dang it!!!

True fellow Corn freaks Sherri E, Randy A, and Nikki T.  Also true party animals, as you can see our Cornhole women double fist their Beers round here!

So Saturday was in the bag, and so were half the players.  We laughed, we hugged, we went our separate ways for the night, and we all prepared to do it again Sunday at Theo's throwdown at the Legion.  Well most of us anyway, Matt and Randy headed west for Ft Wayne, 128 teams, and $1500 to first and only first.

What happened Sunday?  I better do a little work before we get to that hadn't I?  But just a little...

--THE CORN DAWG

The Cult of Cornhole - Where it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers!