CORNHOLE ARTICLES / Dangers in the Field
Updated Sunday, July 19, 2009 at 6:27 PM
Dangers in the Field
Lawn games are meant for large groups of family and friends, and of the options: bocce, horseshoes or lawn darts, cornhole is by far the safest. Players don't wield two pound, hard resin balls, or throw metal objects at five to 10 miles per hour, or fling twelve-inch long needles into the air. Instead, a one-pound bag of corn is tossed onto an inclined board. However, in spite of the seemingly harmless nature of the game, certain dangers do lurk in the field.
Children
Of course they want to play. Mom and dad are the coolest people they know, especially since they rock cornhole. But the children I know--all under five--have little concept of, or an ability to, play the game. Their interest puts them in peril from tossed bags or from falling off the board, and forces their parents to put down their beverages or corn bags and attend to them. Therefore, in an effort to not disrupt play or have a child beamed upside the head, here are some potential game-time activities for the little ones:
Give them toys. Focus on those that are stationary and heavy, like slides. Position them a safe distance from the boards and the kids will have a zone of entertainment: one that does not travel into the playing field. Or, provide an area that is sealed off from the action and is filled with toys. A screened tent works well, as it allows for visibility and security. Now, if neither work, and the kids insist on getting in on the action, get chairs and food. Plop the children down, again at a safe distance, and offer them snacks, but only if they agree to remain seated and to cheer for their parents. If they are old enough, have them keep score. Sometimes the grown-ups need the clarification, and hey, why not let cornhole be an avenue for education? Find what works and the kids will be involved, the parents will be able to play, and everyone will be happy. Except for the pets.
Pets
Lock up your cat. He or she will lie in the middle of play or will curl up on the board. Cats simply do not care about your interest and are likely to get hit because of their apathy. I once witnessed a cat, after being drilled, carry the bag away like a dead bird. Dogs, like children, want in on the action. Mine bark, chase the airborne bags and make use of the field as a toilet. They should also be enclosed, or at minimum, restrained, unless the dog in question can fetch beer and errant bags. In that case the dog is a sidekick, and everyone should be jealous – especially the cat. But watch out for the worst danger of all, your drunken friend.
The Unruly
First, don’t be that guy. Know your limit and don’t exceed it. Second, when faced with a drunken friend who sulks after losing a match, and thus brings others down, swift and decisive action must be taken. Console him by offering a chance at redemption. However, depending on the size of the ego or level of intoxication, this may only add fuel to the fire. If this becomes the case then punitive action becomes necessary. Have your friend stand in the middle of the field, under the guise of receiving some apology, and then pelt him with the corn bags. This will either force him to laugh at himself or attack. If he laughs, the game is saved and all, adults, children and pets, can resume business as usual. If he attacks, well, then it is time for a new lawn game: “Pin-the-drunk-to-the-ground.” And this one is a free for all. My advice—watch out for the cat.
